When you get what you want, how come it doesn't always feel good?

Hello again to all of my two readers! I'm sure you've missed me dearly.

Winter break flew by (as all holidays do) and now I'm back in school and already overwhelmed like crazy. I'm doing research, my job, and school as well as trying to maintain a decent diet free of gluten and a somewhat active social life (this one is in progress...).

Anyway, I was thinking today: "Why do you sometimes feel unhappy even though you get what you want?" You may be thinking, "wait.. if I get what I want, isn't that a good thing? Why would I not want what I want?" Well, it turns out that its not as simple as that.

Today, I had a pretty long day starting at 8am (so waking up at 6am) until 930pm for late lab. I was getting frustrated and frankly a bit moody. Now, at times like these when I'm feeling all weird and in the pondering-about-life-and-the-universe mood, I'm always wondering, "If I was just a little bit smarter, I would get this concept." or "If I was a bit prettier, I would get more guys to notice me" or "If I hung out with better friends, maybe I wouldn't be so depressed and bitter at the world."

And when I get in this kind of mood, I start thinking about all the things in my current life that I can change quickly and see if I can get some kind of positive result.

So, I studied and read ahead of time for class, went to every office hour, attended every lecture, worked every homework problem.

To be prettier, I went and got contact lenses after wearing glasses for 8 years of my life. I went and bought new clothes, make up, shoes, and accessories.

To be less depressed, I started to think that I shouldn't hang out with the people I have been hanging out with because I thought they were the ones that were making me feel the way I did.

Well, the result? As you might have guessed, I wasn't successful in most of my endeavors.

Even though I prepared for class ahead, my mind was still slow and it seemed like everyone else got the concept faster than me, better than me, understood it easier. I was the one catching up.

Even though I thought I always looked better without glasses hiding my face, now I think my face looks bare and unnaturally white with all the new makeup.

Even though I stopped spending so much time with my current friends, my mood and outlook on life didn't change the way I wanted.

So what went wrong??

When the truth hits, it hits hard. The realization that everything negative I thought about myself was entirely conjured up by MYSELF was hard to accept but easy to see. I was the culprit of my own unhappiness. I made myself feel the way that I did. I got what I wanted, yet I was unhappy.

The thing is is that no matter what you want and no matter what you do, you will always still be yourself. You may have a new look, new friends, better study habits, but you're still you. So, embrace yourself, love yourself, be confident and accept who you are. You can't always be the best and you can't always win. But when you are and when you do, enjoy it! Enjoy what you can accomplish with your own hands, and work on the things that pose as challenges for you. That way, when you get what you want, it will have been worth all the effort.